Reflections from the Road: I win.

As I listen to the news and to my audiences I hear a common theme. "I win." Maybe I hear, "I want to win" or "I want them to lose." This is as fascinating as it is ridiculous. Excuse me while I get on my soap box...

Whether talking about racism, classism, ability issues, immigration, adultism, or taxation — there is a system based on an "us/them" system. We must first remember we made up these systems — they aren't real. "Us" and "them" are really "we." We are scared to death of each other and terrified that we will have to sacrifice something we have convinced ourselves that we are entitled to in order to do the right thing.

The truth is that we often compare ourselves to those that we pretend are "othered" from us and even better "other and lower" than us in a fictitious system that we made up to protect our privileges. Moreover, we protected ourselves to the point that we are so isolated from one another that we have no one to build community with because we assume or later discover that a member of "us" is really a "them" and therefore threatening.

When we aren't doing this, we are peeing on things like dogs and screaming MINE! The more fearful and threatened we are the more we quickly seem to be grabbing what is ourselves (rightfully or not) so that others can't take it or claim it for themselves. Then from behind large piles of our stuff we glare at others with bigger piles and laugh at those with less. Here the truth might be that we worked hard to gather our pile of claimed stuff or maybe we were given it from those that came before us. We can collaborate with each other and share piles with a massive dose of trust and nothing left to lose. Sometimes, we collaborate just to make sure "them" don't get anything at all from our piles — protected and secure through collaboration.

Are you a winner? Do you prefer to judge the losers? Do you claim your own first or decide what others don't get?

That person stole my job — stupid affirmative action.

The middle class is being held hostage by politics.

I'm picking up the tab for illegals to have their babies here.

Well, maybe you just can't do this job — why do I have to accommodate you?

What have you done for me lately?

Why can't you just work as hard as I did? You obviously aren't or you wouldn't be in the position you are in.

The truth is — no one wins if winning is resting on the suffering of others.

I pledge to put down my entitlements, acknowledge what I feel I have deserved, and hear when I think I am victorious so that I can see who I am making a loser to claim a win. Will you do the same?

Notice Notes:
A Reflection Journal

The pocket-sized Notice Notes reflection journal has 52 examples of noticing privilege at play. It is designed for the reader to take one week at a time, with space for reflection. Here is one week's excerpt:

Week 28: A white woman in a t-shirt and jeans gets a boarding pass, gets through security, and onto a plane after saying once that she left her ID at home. She has no identification stating her name.

Get your copy of Notice Notes today!

A Cisgender Privilege Checklist

Cis-” as a prefix of Latin origin, meaning “on the same side [as]” or “on this side [of]“, with several derived usages:

• In chemistry, cis- refers to cis-trans isomerism
• In molecular biology, cis- refers to cis-acting
• In gender studies, cis- refers to cisgender

The funny thing about privilege is that typically the privileged are mostly unaware of their privileges (it’s part of the privilege). The way the world treats them just seems normal until they get to hear other people’s experiences.

This checklist was developed as resource in relation to Peggy McIntosh’s “White Privilege: Unpacking the Invisible Knapsack.” Much of the source matter comes from: Cisgender Privilege.

Safety

1. If I am attacked by a lover, no one will excuse my attacker because ze was “deceived” by my gender.
2. I do not have to worry about whether I will be able to find a bathroom to use or whether I will be safe changing in a locker room. I can use public showers without fear of being attacked for my genitalia.
3. When engaging in political action, I do not have to worry about the gendered repercussions of being arrested.
4. If I am unable to find clothing that fits me well, I will still feel safe, and recognizable as my gender.
5. I don’t need to be constantly aware of how others perceive my gender.

Do you know a student who represents spirit, service, or soul?

The 2011 NODAC Conference Committee is looking for three dynamic student speakers for the opening banquet in New Orleans October 30-Nov 2nd. Visit www.nodac.org for more information.

Join us January 10th!

Last month, we had a GREAT conversation about a complicated situation on a campus involving students with complicated stories. Collectively, we asked questions from different perspectives to make sure all parties were both supported and challenged for their actions and moving into fall break. We also talked about interventions and community responsibility. Lastly, we talked about how we could use the Kind Campaign on our campuses to help build community..

Join us!
January 10th, 10am PDT

What is Go There?
No Safe Space Rules! No Guidelines! No Peace Keeper! No Debriefing! Just one thing... Go There! Join us and engage in deep conversations about social justice issues. There is no charge to join the call.

Learn more and join the next call!

#3 I’m just one person
To make change, you don’t need a committee, themed programming, or even a t-shirt! You have every resource you need already to do something different. Besides, you can’t even control other people fully — I can barely control myself. We have a responsibility to try.

1. If you are a parent, how would you feel if your son/daughter told you they were transgender? Would you support them if they decided to transition to a different gender identity?

Modified by CU-Boulder Safe Zone 2005. Adapted by UNC-CH Safe Zone 2003. Written by A. Elfin Moses and Robert O. Hawkins, Jr.; Downloaded from UC Boulder’s website
www.q- resources.org/ ally_ personal_ assessment.php