| November 11, 2009
Welcome to Another Isolated Incident. Please share this newsletter with others. I don't sell email addresses and you won't be emailed more than once a month – promise!
I titled the newsletter as such because you can't have another isolated incident. Let's take the Fort Hood tragedy. I can't imagine how scary those moments were for all people involved. What I can't believe now is people's reactions to the shooting. Muslims in a military to kill people in a Muslim country is being set up as a conflict of interest. Hello? Have you heard of the Crusades? Protestants taking over Catholic Ireland? Why does this get automatically associated with terrorism? What if the alleged shooter wasn't a Muslim; was named Jeff; was named Sylvia? Part of doing Social Justice work is remembering that we all make judgments and assumptions AND figuring out if we are right, wrong, or doing it to feel safe or prepared. I am embarrassed that these assumptions are being made over and over again in the media and on the street. A tragedy is just that. A travesty is something that we should be able to control for by limiting our own misguided assumptions.
Jess
Reflections from the Road: Glass Doors
While traveling the country co-facilitating with Rev. Dr. Jamie Washington for ACPA's PRISM Initiative, it isn't surprising that I would learn something and learn it deep.
After being asked a question about reconciling faith with sexuality, Jamie spoke of two elements that disagree with each other finding a way to coexist with one another. You don't have to agree to coexist. This struck me in a powerful way that connects two tenets of my own work.
First – I only have control over myself and my own actions some of the time. If I try hard, maybe I have a sense of control most of the time, but this is the struggle.
Second – It is my responsibility by inheriting privilege and being perceived as part of dominant groups to own my judgments, assumptions, feelings, thoughts, and actions. No one else is ultimately responsible and it is a fundamental act of social justice to claim my responsibility.
When talking about "agreeing to disagree" I feel that I have been lying at best and skirting my responsibility at most. I don't really AGREE to disagree... what I really am doing is agreeing to give someone more time to get it right. I might even call this a "space of empathy." This isn't too different than me sitting on my porch in Texas and shaking my head saying, "bless their sweet hearts." What I am really saying is, "they are doing the best they can with what they have" and someday they will get it right.
What I am learning is that I already coexist with folks that I disagree with – no matter the topic. We are already coexisting. Coexistence doesn't begin when we agree or even agree to disagree – because someday you will get it right. By me denying this truth, I am marginalizing myself from existing let alone coexisting with others.
It is my responsibility to show up; not judge others due to my shirked responsibilities. I believe we are all doing the best we can with what we have – most of the time. What I now know is that I have actively been shutting a glass door between me and those that I disagree with and observing them from my safe space. This is not coexistence. This is me placing myself in an aquarium of safety. Here's to opening glass doors and engaging in genuine authentic conversation with those that believe in their experience.
The Out & Greek Conference
Never has there been a leadership conference to share, network and learn strategies to create safer, more LGBT inclusive fraternity and sorority communities. The OUT & GREEK National Leadership Conference is the only conference of its kind for LGBT and ally fraternity and sorority leaders to share, network and learn strategies to create safer, more LGBT inclusive fraternity and sorority communities. The Out & Greek Conference will be held November 19-22, 2009 on the campus of Kansas State University in Manhattan, KS. The conference is sponsored by the landmark Lambda 10 Project, an educational initiative of Campus Pride. The Lambda 10 Project founded in 1995 works to heighten the visibility of LGBT members of the college fraternity and sorority by serving as a clearinghouse for educational resources and materials related to sexual orientation and gender identity/expression. Learn more.
How to Be an Ally to Transgender and People with an Intersex Condition
Use non-gender specific language. Ask “Are you seeing someone?” or “Are you in a committed relationship?,” instead of “Do you have a boyfriend/girlfriend?” or “Are you married?” Use the word “partner” or “significant other” instead of “boyfriend/girlfriend” or “husband/wife.”
Top 10 Issues I Get To Address While Holding A Microphone… That You Might Regret Asking Me
One of the scariest truths is that once I am given a microphone, I can and am often encouraged to "speak my truth with care." This section highlights some of my most passionate thoughts about some of the toughest questions I get asked. Enjoy.
As a liberal, I get asked a lot about what I think about the President of the United States current work and approval ratings. I will answer now as I would from a stage with my truth that will surprise some and get me kicked out of some of my liberal potluck meetings. I believe “they” are doing the best they can with what they’ve got. This includes George W. Bush, Dick Cheney, Sarah Palin, John McCain, and Barack Obama. I think anyone who is charged with leading the mess that is the United States on a domestic and global platform has a ridiculous job to do and does it while being microscopically critiqued by a capitalistic fueled media system. No one would be able to respond to everything perfectly, swiftly, and in the most informed manner. I will never run for President as I am too big of a coward to take that task head on. I have great respect for politicians that yearn to serve their constituencies and lead with integrity and compassion. Side note, I have similar respect for those that volunteer to serve in the military. To choose this line of service to one’s country is to take a risk that some, including myself, are not willing to take. It is with appreciation and respect that I question authority, my political representatives, and those charged with defending and colonizing in the name of patriotism or democracy.
Social Justice Quotations That Keep Me Going
Usually we regard loneliness as an enemy. Heartache is not something we choose to invite in. It’s restless and pregnant and hot with the desire to escape and find something or someone to keep us company. When we can rest in the middle, we begin to have a nonthreatening relationship with loneliness, a relaxing and cooling loneliness that completely turns our usual fearful patterns upside down.
Pema Chödrön, When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times |
